When Telemarketers Attack Or Mindess Dribble
by NightChild01
Summary: COMPLETE The title pretty much says it all...but I'll try to summarize it for you. What happens when telemarkets call in the middle of the night to the Gundam Gang's house? Read to find out. (Rating might change)
1. Act One

            Warning: they're all _majorly _OOC (Out Of Character)…you've been warned.

When Telemarketers Strike

Or

Pointless Dribble

By: NightChild

The Gundam Boys and gang were all living at the same house for some reason (one of Quatre's mansions). The phone suddenly rings in the middle of the night….

Phone: RING, RING, RINGGGG!!!

Heero: *as a result of his training just the slightest out of place noise wakes him up. Shoots out of bed, gun in hand*

Phone: *rings louder* RRRRRIIIINNNGGGG!!!!!

Heero: *Yuy Death Glares™ at the ringing phone and picks it up* Hmm?! *He grumbles sleepily*

Telemarketer: Good morning! *Says _way_ too cheerfully for Heero's liking* Would you like to switch to AT--

Heero: *Death Glares™ harder* Do you have _any_ idea what time it is?! *Says in his I'm Going To Kill You In Five Seconds tone*

Telemarketer: *unsure voice* It's 8:30 in the morning here, sir.

Heero: *eye twitches* Well…it's three in the morning here! Go eat some OZ uniforms! *hangs up*

Duo: *was woken up by Heero's voice (they all strangely share a room too)* What was that about? * slurred from sleep*

Heero: telemarketer…*eye still twitching*

Duo: *blinks* I see…*turns over to go back to sleep*

Heero: *stuffs earplugs in his ears, gets back in bed and goes back to sleep*

All was quiet for a few minutes then…

Phone: Ring, ring!

Everyone: *still asleep*

Phone: *louder* RING!

Duo: *opens one eye* I bet it's another telemarketer…*stands up and goes to get the phone. In hyper tone* Doeschocolatehavecaffeineinit? I'vebeeneatingalotofchocolate! Doyouwantsomechocolate? [1]

Telemarketer: *can't understand Duo* Um…can you repeat that?

Duo: Sure! I said, Doeschocolatehavecaffeineinit? I'vebeeneatingalotofchocolate! Doyouwantsomechocolate?

Telemarketer: *still doesn't understand Duo, blinks* Um…right…do you want to switch your phone serv--

Duo: *cuts the telemarketer off in hyper tone again* Ilovechocolate…Iusedtohatechocolate,thenmyfriendgavemesomeandnowIloveit! [2]

Telemarketer: *thinks Duo is completely nuts by now…hangs up*

Duo: *smiles triumphantly and goes back to bed, with his headphones on this time*

***

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own Gundam Wing? Awww…I don't? Too bad.

A/N: [1] I got that idea from something I asked my dad. Duo said, "Does chocolate have caffeine in it? I've been eating a lot of chocolate! Do you want some chocolate?"

[2] No real reason behind this one. Duo said, "I love chocolate…I used to hate chocolate, then my friend gave me some and now I love it!"

Review and tell me if I should continue this.

I really need to stop writing things so late at night, it's 1:25AM right now…@,@ I'm a hooty owl ^.^v

***


	2. Act Two

Warnings: They are SO OOC! And there's hints of non-yaoi relationships mentioned. And there's some random stupid stuff. You've been warned….

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Two

By: NightChild

***

            Duo woke up even later than usual that day after the telemarketers had attacked in the middle of the night. He was still proud of his counter-attack but was sure that they'd attack again. He yawned as he came downstairs for "breakfast" even though it was three in the afternoon. He heard the familiar sound of Heero's typing on his laptop as he sat down to eat his leftover pizza. "That was some interesting night of attacks, wasn't it, Heero?" Duo suddenly asked out of nowhere.

            Heero's extremely fast typing suddenly stopped as he stared at Duo, trying to figure out _just_ what it was that he was talking about. The others, who where in the living room that adjoined the kitchen had gathered around and were staring at Duo in much the same way as Heero.

            Duo blinked a few times then sweatdropped. "You know…the telemarketer attack calls?" he said like he was trying to explain this to very small and very stupid children.

            One could almost see when Heero figured out what Duo was talking about, it almost looked like a light bulb flashed over his head, but he didn't say anything, he just nodded slightly in his way of affirming that he understood and went back to typing on his laptop.

            Relena blinked. "Telemarketer attack calls?" she asked, not understanding how a call could be an attack call.

            Duo nodded. "Yep…telemarketer attack calls…they called in the middle of the night last night…woke Heero and I up at three in the morning." he said as he gestured with his thumb at the phone.

            Relena nodded. "We should do something about this." she said, an evil glint in her eye, which quite frankly scared the living shit outta the others.

            Zechs blinked at his little sister, he wondered if she'd had too much coffee again, it did this to her…either that or it was close to That Time of the Month…which frankly he didn't want to know about. "We'll plan this out after dinner in the living room." he stated as he went to sit on the couch next to Noin.

            Quarte blinked at Relena too…it had to be all of the coffee he saw her drink this morning…she had about four cups. He sweatdropped and went into the library to do some reading. Relena could be just plain scary sometimes.

            Wufei just shrugged and went back to the games room to finish his marital arts video game he had challenged Sally to…Relena in her "kill-kill-kill" mode from too much coffee meant that she was likely to cut something vital off if he annoyed her so he thought it best if he stayed away from her until after dinner.

            Sally half smiled at Relena as she headed back to the games room, she found it quite amusing that Wufei wanted to stay away from her until the coffee wore off…she'd have him all to herself until then, she smiled wickedly at the thought as she entered the room.

            Trowa didn't really react on the outside but on the inside he was making note of the nearest and fastest escape route just in case Relena's eyes glinted like that again…it was just too freaky to see the peaceful Relena get that look in her eyes. He decided that he'd just quietly slip out when no one was looking and play it safe.

            Catherine knew that Relena would be back to her normal self in a few hours…if she didn't drink anymore coffee that is so she stayed with her so she wouldn't wonder why she was alone and get mad and hunt them down one by one. Strange as it might sound she was likely to do that on the massive amount of caffeine.

            Heero ignored them all and continued to type his mission report on his laptop…he knew where the duct tape was if Relena got too out of hand.

            Duo had long ago inched out of the room, grabbing Hilde and sneaking into the nearest closet for a make out session in it, scared to death of that glint in Relena's eye but seeing a good make out opportunity.

***

Replies

blah blah: As you see, I wrote more…and changed the style and gave it somewhat of a plot.

Akenea: Thanks ^.^v I hope you like Act Two.

Whoever you are that didn't leave a name and said that it's illegal for telemarketers to call before 9: Didn't you get the title?! It's When Telemarketers Attack OR Mindless Dribble…what part of Mindless Dribble don't you understand?! Geez.

Chara: Lol I might have Hilde get him one once their counter-attack gets going more ^.^v

Queen of Shadows: YAY! Another night owl! Hehe, yeah…just gotta love nighttime. And see? I'm writing more ^.^v

Whoever you are that didn't leave a name and said that I stole the idea from another fic: Gah…what can I possibly say to you? You don't get it…that was just the intro which I wrote REALLY late at night…why am I even bothering to explain myself to you?!

A/N: Wow…I didn't expect to get so many reviews in one day…granted some of them were stupid flames--which will be fed to my demonic little sister. I hope you like the new style…I thought that it would work better with where I'm going with this.  Feedback is always welcome. Until next time…

Ja`ne!

***


	3. Act Three

Warning: OOC-ness, non-yaoi parings (mild), plan craziness…you've been warned…again

Disclaimer: I dun own anything but the plot…and I'm not even sure about that.

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Three

By: NightChild

***

After they all ate some of Catherine's "famous" soup for dinner they all gathered in the living room. Relena's eye was twitching in a way that made Heero's hand twitch for the duct tape that he had hidden god knows where in his spandex shorts. _'She must've gotten into the coffee again when I wasn't watching.'_ he thought slightly annoyed that Relena could be sneakier than he could.

Suddenly Quatre's nervous voice interrupted Heero's twitching hand and Relena's twitching eye. "So…uh…Zechs…what's your plan?" he asked while keeping an eye on Relena and Heero, he didn't like what he thought was going to happen next.

Noin eyed Zechs. _'He has a plan? Since when? …We didn't do anything on the couch but--' _her thoughts were cut off by Zechs.

Zechs nodded. "I've got a plan," he looked at Noin as if he knew what she was thinking. "We wait until they call and say things to make them stop…like Duo's trick with the chocolate…and if _that _doesn't make 'em stop we'll have no choice but to get…physical," he said with an evil glint in his eyes much like the Relena-kill-kill-kill-mode glint. Quatre _really_ didn't like where this was going.

Wufei just shrugged again, wondering when he could get back to his "death match" he had challenged Sally to, they would be dead tired--or maybe just dead--before the night was through. He was still ticked that she won the last two games on the video game system.

Sally wiggled her eyebrows at Wufei when she thought no one was looking, showing that she intended not to play video games anymore with him…but something more…physical.

Trowa nodded. "Sounds good to me." he replied to Zechs then went back to being his usual quiet self.

Heero's hand twitched more toward the duct tape that was god-knows-where in his shorts as Relena's eye glinted more when Zechs said "physical". He might be forced to duct tape her to her chair if she drank anymore coffee…she was already on high kill-kill-kill mode as it was and anything that she found annoying would probably lose something vital. "Roger that." he said nodding to Zechs, one eye still on Relena.

Duo took one moment away from his make out session with Hilde to nod toward Zechs then went back to trying to shove his tongue down her throat, not noticing the way Relena's eye twitched at them.

"We'll call this mission Operation Annoyance." Relena said in a very un-Relena-like voice before going back to twitching her eye and Hilde and Duo.

Catherine looked up from the book that she was reading. "Alright…looks like this is going to be a long night." she said mainly to herself as she got up and went to the kitchen to make snacks for them…without caffeine so Relena wouldn't get worse.

And so the plans were vaguely set for their counter-attack on the telemarketers from hell. They only had to wait for the phone to ring before Operation Annoyance would be set in motion.

***

Replies

Queen of Shadows: Hiya again! Yep…nighttime rocks! Hehe, I just thought it would be funny…usually it takes A LOT of caffeine to make me buzzy but once I'm buzzy I'm buzzy as hell XD Lol I like that about duct tape…very funny! Hmm…I dunno about your account…but it happened once to me and it fixed itself after a few days, I think it was something to do with ff.net's servers or something…I hope it starts to work again or we'll have to send the kill-kill-kill-mode-Relena on 'em ^.~v

Emily Hato: Hehe, glad that you like this…it's pretty crazy since I usually write the new stuff really, REALLY late at night ^.^v;;;;

blah blah: Domo arigatou!

TaraSaturn: Hiya! lol you're silly!! The airplane must be killed…along with the EVIL EVIL math homework!! SHI-NE! Evil things! *prods 'em with her ever-handy cattle prod* XD

Blah blah: Very strange…hmm. Oh well, arigatou!

A/N: Wow! Yay 12 reviews for my silly ficcie!! YAY! I'm trying to update as soon as I can so you guys won't have to wait long to see what happens next. That's why the chapters are so short c.c;; anyway, DOMO ARIGATOU!! For all of your reviews, it really helps an authoress get her ass in gear!

Until next time

Ja`ne!!

***


	4. Act Four

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Four

By: NightChild

***

            Later that night after the sun had set and sane people were in bed and asleep, the Gundam gang was sitting up in the living room with the phone next to them. Heero had threatened Relena with the duct tape by then because she started acting a bit too much like him for his liking…he now understood just _why_ Duo was so set on getting him to loosen up. Suddenly the phone ran with its annoying, strange, broken sound.

Relena jumped up from her spot on the couch and dash to the phone, Heero and Duo on her heels. "I'll get it!" she yelled as she grabbed the cordless phone from its place on the small table by the couch. "Hello?" she said in her usual sweet tone into the phone.

"Good evening! Would you be intere--" the voice on the other end of the phone was cut off by Relena….

"OH MY GOD!!! LOOK AT THAT TWO-HEADED MAN!!!" Relena yelled as loud as she could into the phone, sounding rather amazed and freaked out at the same time. Relena started to crack up but managed not to laugh as the sound of the person on the other end hanging up clicked over the line.

Duo blinked, evil smile cracking on his face. "What'd they do?" he asked as he nudged Relena in the ribs with his elbow…big mistake. Before he knew what had happened he was on his back and blinking up at Relena's extremely annoyed face. "Wow…where'd you learn how to do that?" he asked as he smiled up at her.

Relena's eye twitched. "Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again!" she said as she punched the floor that was right beside Duo's head with a very powerful punch. She looked like she was ready to actually punch his face when suddenly Heero pulled her off of Duo.

"You really want to be duct taped, don't you?" Heero asked, his hand twitching at god-knows-where in his spandex shorts.

Relena's eye twitched more. "I'd like to see you try." She said as she managed to get her legs over Heero's head and put him in a headlock.

That started a little wrestling match across the floor. Which only ended when the phone rang again.

***

            Replies

            Emilie Grant: Yaaayyyyy!!! You reviewed!! Yay *glomp* Thankies!

            Chara: Here's the other chapter! ^^ Domo airgatou!

            Mirasha: Glad ya like it!

            Emily Hato: Yep…I'm using some things that've been used in tons of other humor ficcies. Lol I just love being a bad influence on people XD it's so fun. I never do this kinda stuff to 'em…but I'd like to sometimes. I'm glad that you like this…I'm trying my best….it's kinda hard trying to keep up with two ficcies at the same time but I'm managing it ^.^v

            Kelari: Domo airgatou! I'm glad that you like my writing style…I'm not really sure where it's going but I've got some ideas. Heh, yeah…I know…but that wouldn't be any fun if the G-gang did that. ^.^v

            Queen of Shadows: Hiya!!! Hehe…coffee is good…I've been drinking it since I was 9. Hehe it's gonna be funny ^.^v

A/N: Wow…I have 19 reviews now! I just love you guys! You're the _BEST_…when I fist started this I never thought that it would be this popular. Gomen…it's taking me a while to get the new chapters written and loaded…but that's what happens when you get me trying to work on two stories at a time! Sorry that it's so short. Until next time….

Ja`ne!!

***


	5. Act Five

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or anything to so with Gundam Wing…so if you sue me you'll just get some pocket lint…some manga…other books and hair things and other random things.

Warnings: Non-yaoi relationships mentioned (fairly mild), MAJOR ooc, and your usual nuttyness you get with this fic…you should get the point by now though….

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Five

By: NightChild

***

            As the phone rang again there was a loud thumping of feet as the rush for the phone began. It's Quatre in the lead…followed by Duo…a close third by Trowa…Relena and Heero tried for fourth…Hilde, Catherine, Sally, Wufei and Dorothy in a close fifth. They're rounding the home stretch and…

            Quatre picked up the phone. "Hello?" he said in his polite voice.

            "Hello and good day, sir. Is this Quatre Winner?" the voice on the other end of the line asked.

            Quatre blinked then quickly asked, "Who wants to know?"

            It seemed as if the telemarketer blinked too 'cause there was a slight pause. "This is a very important matter…is this Quatre Winner?"

            "Who wants to know?"

            The telemarketer seemed to be getting annoyed. "Is this Mr. Winner?"

            "Who wants to know?"

            The telemarketer gave a frustrated huff and hung up. Quatre blinked at the phone and grinned. "I annoyed 'im." He said proudly.

            Duo gave Quatre a big thumbs up and thumped him on the back. "Way to go man!" Hilde grabbed Duo away from Quatre and clung to him. "Whoa…babe…what're you doi--" his words were stopped by her kissing him. They walked off to the corner to have…yet another…make out session.

            Relena's eye twitched at Hilde and Duo…she looked like she was about ready to pounce them but the phone rang again…she made it to the phone first. She picked it up. "Hello…Rodent Killers Inc. How can I help you?" she said in her best imitation of Heero's 'I'm-going-to-kill-you-in-five-seconds' tone. She smiled evilly as she heard the click on the other end of the line.

            Quatre stared at Relena. Dorothy had the most shocked look on her face as she stared at the kill-kill-kill-mode-Relena. Heero looked at Relena with mock interference…but secretly got the duct tape out of god-knows-where in his shorts. Duo and Hilde were too _busy_ to really notice Relena. Trowa was noting the nearest exit again. Catherine eyed Relena nervously. Wufei hid behind Sally. Sally blinked at Wufei and Relena as if they both were crazy.

            Faint grunts and moans could be heard from the shadows where Noin and Zechs were last seen sneaking off too.

            Relena's eye twitched and she threw a knife (that she got from god-knows-where) in the general direction of where the grunts and moans were coming from. The next thing she knew she was duct taped to the wall with Heero, Noin and Zechs looking at her with menacing looks. "What?" she asked innocently from her forced perch on the wall.

            Zechs' eye twitched much like Relena's did. "You almost hit us!" he half shouted before dragging Noin off to the shadows again.

            Heero gave her the Yuy Death Glare ™. "If you _ever_ drink coffee like that again when not on a mission to save the world I'll…I'll…do something." He said before stalking away to mope about not having come up with a catchy threat to give to his girlfriend.

            The others just blinked at the happenings of the past minute and a half. They didn't know that Relena could throw a knife…well…all but Catherine that is. They also didn't know that Heero could fetch duct tape out of his shorts that fast or that Noin and Zechs could get redressed that fast either.

            Soon faint grunt and moans were heard from the shadows again. Relena started to gnaw on the duct tape that had her fastened to the wall. Heero was still muttering about not having a catchy threat. Wufei was still hiding behind Sally. Hilde and Duo still hadn't come up for air from their latest make out session. Catherine was starting to regret those knife-throwing lesions she had given to Relena. Trowa was watching Relena out of the corner of his eyes nervously whist she gnaw her way free. Dorothy and Quatre were sitting on the couch talking.

            Thus ended their night of telemarketer calls and they all fell asleep…until the phone rang….

***

Replies 

Chara: Yay! Pocky…never had it really but I've heard it's good. See? More ^.^v

Quatre the Kitsune: Domo arigatou!!

Emily Hato: Lol I just get hyper…yes! We _MUST_ ponder the great mystery of Heero's shorts! XD

Emilie Grant: Hehehe glad you like it so much XD I sorta added 'em in…but I probably will add 'em in better sometime XD

Queen of Shadows: Ahh!! The feared SPORK OF DEATH!!!!! AHH! Hehehehe. There's more ^.^v

Lightbub-squeakytoy: Glad my silly fic made ya feel better, Kell-san.

A/N 

Wow…never did I think that I'd EVER have 25 reviews on ANY of my stories! THANKS EVERYONE!!! *throws chocolate and other candies around*

Until next time….

Ja`ne!

***


	6. Act Six

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or anything to do with it…but one day I _will_ own the world…once I figure out how to do that! MUHAHAHA--*choke*--HAHA

Warnings: Non-yaoi relationships, major OOC-ness, and plain oddness…why do I keep bothering with this stuff? You already know this…I hope.

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Six

            Duo's snores, Relena's sleep-muttering, Heero's sleep-death threats, and other various things were suddenly drown out by the phone ringing. Duo didn't move. Relena's eyes shot open but she couldn't move as she had only half way gnawed her way free of the duct tape. Quatre spilled cool tea on himself in a frantic movement. Trowa just slowly woke up and started to move for the phone…but he didn't get to it before….

            "Dorothy!" Trowa grumbled at her as she picked up the phone.

            "Hello?" Dorothy said in a sweet tone that could give cavities.

            "Hello ma'am! Would you like to--" the female telemarketer was cut off by Dorothy….

            "Uhhh…ahhh….ooohhhh." she moaned as if she were doing "stuff".

            There was a pause as if the telemarketer blinked. "Um…you sound busy…I'll ca--"

            Dorothy moaned in amazingly real-sounding passion. "Don't stop…don't go…not yet…ahhhh." The others couldn't figure out how she managed to do this with a straight face.

            "Eep!" the telemarketer said then there was a *click*.

            Dorothy broke out in an evil smile and flipped her hair. "That was fun."

            Quatre just stared at her…he couldn't believe that _his_ girlfriend did _that_. He blinked a few times and went to make some tea.

            Wufei was shoving tissues up his nose to try to stop his nosebleed that had started out of nowhere…he and the others still hadn't figure out just _how_ they got started like that.

            Duo and Hilde were still snoring on the floor where they happened to fall after their make out session.

            Relena's eye was twitching…again. "Dorothy…." She said in a warning tone. "Get me DOWN FROM HERE NOW!!!" she yelled suddenly, making everyone jump slightly…but Duo and Hilde.

            Dorothy blinked a few times. "But Miss Relena…I don't think Heero'd like that very much, look his eye's twitching…yeah…like yours is." She said innocently as she walked away to go sit by Quatre.

            Relena growled and went back to gnawing on the duct tape. Heero walked over to her. "You brought this on yourself…you knew what coffee does to you…but did you pay attention to what you were drinking? No…you just _had_ to drink the coffee."

            "And _you_ just had to tape me to the _wall_!" Relena yelled back at Heero between gnaws on the tape.

            Heero just regarded her with his I-don't-care-but-really-do-care look on his face…he a complicated guy or what? "Feh…" he muttered and sat down on the empty chair close to the wall that Relena was taped to.

            Soon everyone was in a deep sleep again…except for Relena and Heero….

            "Sixteen tons of greasy, grimy gopher guts, marinated monkey meat, dirty little hamster feet. Sixteen tons of gopher guts…and me without a spoon…bum bum bum! Sixteen tons of greasy, grimy gopher guts, marinated monkey meat, dirty little hamster feet. Sixteen tons of gopher guts…and me without a spoon…bum bum bum! Sixteen tons of greasy, grimy gopher guts, marinated monkey meat, dirty little hamster feet. Sixteen tons of gopher guts…and me without a spoooooon! [1]" Relena sang over and over in a tone that was very off key--sure, she could sing…when she tried.

            Heero pressed his hands over his screaming ears. _'So she's resorted to torture, has she? Well two can play at this game!'_ he thought as he took in a deep breath…what he was about to do no one would have believed possible unless they saw it themselves. "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes!!!" he billowed out every "note" to be heard over Relena's "singing".

            Relena wasn't going to be one-upped by Heero by this! Oh no…she had something else in mind…."THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY'LL BE SINGING IT FOREVERE JUST BECAUSE… THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY'LL BE SINGING IT FOREVERE JUST BECAUSE!!!" she "sang" as loud as she could.

            Heero's eye twitched…this meant war…."I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES…EVERYBODY'S NERVES…I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES… I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES…EVERYBODY'S NERVES…I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!!!" he sang/billowed, trying to be louder than Relena.

            By now everyone was awake…yes, even Duo and Hilde. All seven pairs of eyes watched Heero and Relena belt it out. All seven pairs of ears wished that they had cotton balls or something…all of the yelling and "singing" was terrible.

            "THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY'LL BE SINGING IT FOREVERE JUST BECAUSE… THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY'LL BE SINGING IT FOREVERE JUST BECAUSE!!!

            I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES…EVERYBODY'S NERVES…I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES… I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES…EVERYBODY'S NERVES…I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!!! [2]" They both yelled/sang at the same time and when finished gasping for air.

            The seven spectators clapped, Duo and Hilde cheering and whooping, "That was great!!"

            Heero went stalk still, as if he'd been zapped by something and couldn't move. His face turned and puckered as if he had eaten a whole lemon at once. _'Ooooohhhhh shit.'_ He thought as he turned around to face his friends…yep…he was _never_ going to live this one down.

            Relena just smiled sweetly at them, hoping to get them to un-tape her from the wall so she could find some more coffee. She muttered a cuss as she realized that they weren't going to let her down from the wall. She pouted.

            Duo walked over to Heero and threw an arm around his shoulders, Heero Death Glared™. "Gee buddy…didn't know you liked to sing so much." He said with his you-won't-hurt-me grin.

            Heero leveled Duo with another Death Glare™ and snorted at him in an annoyed fashion. Duo just grinned widely and went back to Hilde's side…he might look it, but he's not _that_ crazy.

            Seven of the occupants of the house teased Relena and Heero about the "Great Singing War" for a while longer then their sleepiness got the better of them and they all dropped off to sleep for a few hours…until….

            RINGGGGGGG!!!

****

AN: Sorry this took **_SOOOOO_** long to get out, I get busy with other things and ran out of energy for this…but look! It's extra long for you guys! I hope to update soon…depending on how many of you are still with me here….*hides from rabid reviewers…sigs her demonic little sister on the ones that attack* ^.^;;;;;

[1]: My dad taught me that song sometime in my childhood…poor guy…really didn't learn his lesson with the other annoying songs he taught me….

[2]: Yes…this really happened to me once…at the ice rink of all places…The Skaters' Parents vs. The Skaters…of course we (The Skaters) won…of course! ^.^v;;;

Replies:

A big **_HUGE_** thank you and bag of pocky to those that review this mindless dribble you guys all love so well! Sorry for not replying individually but I am/was having some problems with ff.net and also pooped out from that lovely chapter you just got done reading. *wonders if anyone reads her ANs and Replies…blinks…crickets chirp* Anyway…THANK YOU!!!

Until next time….

Ja`ne!!!

****


	7. Act Seven

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Seven

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own anything here?! Do I?!?!?!?! No…? Good…you're finally learning ^.^;;;

Warnings: Plain ol' OOC-ness…non-yaoi relationships…and anything else I decide to throw in…why do I keep doing this?! Oh yeah…the lawyers…AAAHHH!!!!! SAVE ME FROM 'EM!!!

***

The phone rang again, jolting everyone from his or her sleep. It was the race for the phone…again…there was shoving, pushing, stomping, kicking, screaming, biting, and other rudeness, until….

Noin made it to the phone first and pressed the button before anyone else could. "Moshi-moshi[1]?" she answered the phone.

"Hello Miss! Is Mr. Winner there?" asked the telemarketer.

"Who wants to know?" she asked in a tone that meant business…probably dirty business.

A pause. "This is a very important call for Mr. Winner."

"Says who?" Noin asked as she made a face at the phone. Zechs walked up to her and gave her a nice, huge kiss. "Mmm…not now, sweetie." She said to Zechs.

Another pause. "Um…is Mr. Winner there?"

Zechs ignored Noin and kissed her more. "Muffph." Noin 'said'.

Pause. "Um…Hello?"

Noin throws the phone away, leaving the telemarketer to his own devices while Zechs and her sneak off to the shadows again.

Duo picks up the phone and hangs up on the totally baffled telemarketer.

Relena, meanwhile, was almost finished gnawing her way free of the duct tape. _'Ohhh...Heero's gonna pay for this!'_ she yelled in her mind as she gnawed the last bit of tape away from herself. The next thing that Heero knew he was pinned to the floor by kill-kill-Relena.

"Relena…dear…?" he asked as he tried to talk the "beast" down.

"Don't you 'Relena dear' me, Heero!" she yelled as she grabbed the duct tape from Spandex Space. "Now…what shall I do with this?" she asked in mock innocence.

Heero's eyes got big. _'Uh-oh.'_ He managed to think before _he_ was duct taped to the wall.

Duo, not making out with Hilde for once, upon seeing _Heero_ taped to the wall burst out laughing hysterically. "Guys--hahahahahaha--look at this!" he yelled from his place on the floor where he fell.

All movement in the room stopped…laughter exploded. Heero grumbled.

"Get. me. down. from. here." Heero said as his eye twitched with each word.

Relena smirked up at him. "Oh…I don't think so, Heero…dear." She said as she stalked off to the kitchen…to draw up battle plans…of all things.

Heero pouted and tried to reach into Spandex Space to get a knife. This was far from over…Relena would pay for this…and dearly.

****

[1]: A greeting the Japanese use when answering the phone.

AN:

This chapter is for my dear, dear friend Holly (TaraSaturn). Love ya Holly! So…it's a short-ish chapter…live with it…I mean…tralala. I'll _try_ to make the next one longer…but I'm not promising anything.

Replies:

Chara: Hehehe, you're silly. I wrote more…granted it was short ~.~;;;;;;; But…dunno…eat the pocky? ^.^v;;;

D3: I have plans for her yet…Operation Annoyance has just begun! MUHAHAH…um….*shifty eyes* wasn't me…I swear….eeeehhhhhhh ~.~;;;

            Demonic Little Sister: Hehehe…hai…. You're silly.

            Black Ninja Star: Why…thank you ^.^;; hope you like this "chapter".

            Anyway…I hope that you guys liked this…I'll try to start to write longer chapters…but don't bet on it.

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne!

****


	8. Act Eight

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Eight

By: NightChild

Disclaimer: Sadly…I still don't own Gundam Wing (don't own Scrabble either…never even played it…seriously)…nor do I rule the world, all I own is my pocket-lint, which will one day be designer pocket-lint! MUHAHAHAHA!!!

Warning: Total OOC-nss, non-yaoi relationships and all the nuttiness that you guys just seem to _love_.

***

            The next few days passed fairly quite for the Gundam Gang--though Relena had taken it upon herself to drink as much coffee as possible and take charge of OA (Operation Annoyance), doing some research and other things to track down their HQ. Heero was still mostly taped to the wall. Duo and Hilde had gone back to their normal routine of sneaking off to closets to make out. Quatre and Dorothy had gone back to drinking tea and playing Scrabble--it was truly frightening how much they resembled an old married couple. Zechs and Noin were still sneaking off to the shadows when they thought no one was looking. Trowa still watched Relena as if she were a bomb just waiting to go off. Catherine was still seriously wondering if it were a good idea to give Relena those knife-throwing lessons. Wufei and Sally were still having their "video game tournament"…which really _wasn't _a video game tournament. The phone had managed to be fairly quiet….

            Relena sat at Heero's laptop typing away like mad, searching for the location of the telemarketers' Head Quarters…again. Her eye twitched rapidly as she typed and hacked her way into "secret" files.

            Heero was in the process of sawing away at he duct tape that still held him to the wall; he had managed to reach into Spandex Space and get a knife. "Get. away. from. my. computer!" he yelled at Relena--who was acting just like him only scarier.

            Relena's eye twitched as she looked in Heero's general direction. "Make me." She said as she stuck her tongue out at him.

            Just then Duo bounded into the room. "What's goin' on guys?" he asked; even though he already knew what was going on.

            Heero turned his head to Duo, his eye twitching ever so slightly. "Get. me. down. from. here!!!" he yelled as he _tried_ to chuck his knife at his "friend"…he didn't consider Duo his friend at the moment because he hadn't untapped him from the wall.

            Duo glanced at Relena. Relena's eye twitched. "Ah…I dunno 'bout that, buddy…your girlfriend seems to want you to stay up there." He said as he walked over to the couch and plopped down to watch whatever happened to be on TV.

            The sound of Relena's typing suddenly stopped as she gazed at the small, glowing screen in front of her. "AH-HA! I've found it! Now they won't succeed in their plans to take over the Earth Sphere and Colonies!"

            Dorothy blinked from over the rim of her teacup. "What do you mean, Miss Relena?" she questioned as she won another game of Scrabble.

            Relena grinned broadly, like she had a great secret that no one else knew about. "The telemarketers…they're trying to take over the Earth Sphere and Colonies!" she declared as the phone rang for the first time in almost a week….

****

AN:

Sorry this took so long to get out…my Muse decided to be evil and abandon me and real-life decided to appear out of nowhere too. I hope you liked this chapter…I know it's not as silly as my last ones but I wanted to move the story on a bit and set the plot I've decided on up--yes this thing**_ will_** have a plot, scary, eh? I know…the chapter's a bit short but I'm rather sleepy as it's almost 2:00AM here.

Replies:

Chara: Hehe ^.^ here's some pocky *gives Chara and Chibi-Duo and Chibi-Heero pocky* I hope you like this chapter.

ashblackraven: I'm glad you like this XD Yes…how long _did_ it take him to learn how to do that…hmmmm….must ponder that, ne?

Black Ninja Star: I've written more ^.^;; see? Hehehe

Rhys: Heh, yes, I know that Noin's Italian…but I don't know any Italian greetings and maybe she picked it up…heh…yeah she picked it up *shifty eyes* Hmmmm…yes…what is in Spandex Space? Will we ever know? Oh yes, Noin and Duo rock, I love 'em all though! ^.^v;;

aka-kitsune-chan: I hate telemarketer attack calls too! Hehe, I'm glad you find the Kill-Kill-Relena thing so funny!

One-Winged Angel (chapter 2): Hehehe…hmmm…maybe I should come up with more interesting chapter names, I like that "When Peaceful Relena Goes Bad" XD

One-Winged Ange (chapter 7): I'm glad that you like it, I'm trying to update as much as I can. Keep an eye out for chapter nine.

More AN:

Wow! Nearly 40 reviews! I feel SSSOOOOOO loved! I'll try to update soon, but with my temperamental Muse and "real-life" it might be a while. But keep reviewing, it helps me write faster…also look for the response to your review. I try my best to respond to all reviews.

Feel free to IM me or e-mail me…just tell me who you are. (AIM: KatLiz1234   E-mail: KatLiz1234@aol.com or DerailyHoshi@hotmail.com)

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne!

****


	9. Act Nine

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Nine

By: NightChild

Disclaimer: Do I have to? Awww…I do? Okay…does it LOOK like I own Gundam Wing? It doesn't? BUT ONE DAY I WILL!!! MUHAHAHAHA *authoress gets hauled off by Duo and Heero while laughing insanely*

Warnings: *authoress pops up out of nowhere, Heero and Duo are heard yelling about escaped lunatic* Same warnings from last time…AAHH!! HEERO AND DUO'VE FOUND ME!!! *gets hauled off again*

***

            As the phone rang again Heero freed himself from the last of the duct tape and threw himself at the telephone suicidal-like…he flew through the air…then…thump…smashed into the wall next to the phone. The phone rang for the third time. He grabbed it and answered, "What?"

            A slight pause… "Hello, sir! I'm with Standard Cable Company [1] and I was wonderi--"

            Heero cut the poor telemarketer off… "So…you think you can take over the universe!?! WELL YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING!! WE'VE GOT A KILL-KILL-KILL-RELENA HERE AND WE'RE NOT AFRAID TO USE HER!!!" he yelled with an eye twitch and an evil laugh to rival his own evil laugh, then hung the phone up.

            Duo blinked at Heero. "Another telemarketer, ne?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen…in which Relena was still muttering to herself and looking for the pin-point location of the telemarketers HQ. "Havin' fun, there 'Lena?" he asked as he reached into the fridge and started to chug milk out of the carton.

            Relena's eyebrow twitched as she spotted Duo drinking out of the milk carton. She had gotten used to being called "'Lena" but she _will not_ stand for bad manners. "Duo. get. a. glass. before. I. get. mad." She said; each word accompanied by a twitch of her eyebrow. Eyebrow still twitching, she took a long gulp of coffee (her sixth cup of the day) as she went back to trying to pin-point the location of the HQ.

            Smiling, Duo turning to Relena, milk carton still in hand. "Whoa, 'Lena, calm down! Why waste a perfectly good clean glass for just a few sips, eh?" he asked with a cheerful wink.

            The twitching of Relena's eyebrow reached new levels. "Duo…GET A GLASS OR I'LL SHOOT YOU WHERE YOU STAND!" she yelled, eyebrow twitching at an alarming rate.

            Duo threw his hands up in surrender…forgetting about the open milk carton…milk flew everywhere, including Relena _and_ Heero's-prized-laptop. Eyes wide, Duo ran from the room with a quick, "I forgot something!" _'Ohhhh shit! I'm dead!'_ he thought as he raced up the stairs and into his room.

            Meanwhile downstairs…

            Heero dropped the phone and stalked into the kitchen, where Relena _and his laptop_ were soaked and splattered with milk. Upon seeing this Heero's eye twitched rapidly. "What. did. you. do. to. my. computer?!" he was seething mad…not just because of the computer but he was still mad that she had _duct taped him to the wall._

            Relena flashed Heero a blinding smile. "I didn't do anything to your computer…Hee-chan." She batted her eyes at him, trying to annoy him more. Apparently coffee made her reckless too.

            Heero felt his heart do that little mushy thing that it always did when Relena smiled at him like that….but "Hee-chan"? That added insult to injury. "Listen here…you touch my laptop again and I'll--" RRRRIIIINNNGGGGGG went the phone….

***

            Replies:

            Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn: Lol Holly-onnee-chan, you're funny! And it's a very good thing! Hehe, see? More Duo-kawaii-ness! And this chapter's for you 'cause it has so much Duo-kawaii-ness in it! ^.^

            rika_1: Hehehehe thanks for the flame to kill the evil math homework…I hope you like this chapter.

            ybewd: Thanks!

            darkarc: Hehehe, no problem….ooo pocky! YAY! Arigatou!! See…I wrote more! I felt bad that I hadn't written in a while and look! There's more!

            One-Winged Angel: Lol our alter egos do like to do that to us sometimes! Lol she might go Rambo on us…though I don't really know…'cause frankly, I hardly know where I'm going with this! I made this chapter a bit longer than usual (like 2 paragraphs…oh well). Thanks for your wonderful review; it made me laugh.

            Black Ninja Star: We'll probably never know what all Heero keeps in Spandex Space…though one day we should kidnap him and see! Hehehee was it insane enough for you?

            AN:

            'Allo! This chapter is for my dear, dear friend, Holly (TaraSaturn)…. just because it has so much Duo-kawaii-ness! Notice that I made the chapter just a little bit longer than the last one and it was sillier! I'm not sure when I'll get around to updating next but I hope it's soon! DOMO ARIGATOU for all the wonderful reviews ^.^v

            Until next time….

            Ja`ne!

            P.S. Feel free to IM or e-mail me, just let me know who you are and the such…the info's on my bio.

****


	10. Act Ten

Disclaimer: Do I really have to do one EVERY chapter? I do? Oh…okay. I don't own Gundam Wing or anything else that looks familiar…I just own the plot…though I'm beginning to doubt that too.

Warnings: Major OOCness…non-yaoi relationships (fairly mild)…and lots of silliness that you guys praise me for. *Runs around like a loony for no real reason…okay…so Heero and Duo'll come and haul her off again* *Heero and Duo sigh then go to haul authoress off*

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Ten

By: NightChild

***

            There was a thunder of footsteps as the phone rang for the second time that day. There was much pushing, shoving, biting, name calling and spitting (yes…spitting) before Quatre managed to grab the phone and answer it.

            "'Allo?"

            "Hello! We've got a very important message for you, if you'll stay on the line and wait." A computerized voice drawled on the other end of the line.

            Quatre blinked then glared at the phone. "No you don't! [1]" he nearly yelled as he hung up the phone. The others blinked at him. "What?" he asked them innocently.

            The others blinked more. "Nothing…nothing at all." Said Trowa.

            "Whoa…did you just meet your quota for words for the day, Trow'?" Duo joked. Trowa just half-glared at Duo…which only made Duo grin (he had sunk down when the phone rang).

            Relena noticed Duo. "HEY!"

            Duo noticed Relena notice him. "Oh shit." He made a bee-line for the stairs, Relena on his heels.

            Heero noticed Duo noticing Relena notice him. "Duo! Get back here! You spilt milk all over my computer!" he bolted after Relena and Duo.

            Hilde noticed Heero notice Duo notice Relena notice him. "This'll be great!" she yelled with a laugh as she bolted after Relena, Duo and Heero.

            Quatre looked worried. "Guys be care--" there was a crash from upstairs. "--ful…"

            Dorothy saw _her Quatre_ upset and got this scary little eye-tic going…what made it really scary was her eyebrows. "They…made…Quatre…upset…they…die!!!!" she yelled as she went chasing after Duo, Relena, Hilde and Heero.

            A few minutes later Duo's muffled voice was heard yelling, "NO NOT THE HAIR!!"

            Then Heero's muffled voice, "This is what you get for spilling milk all over my computer!!"

            Then Relena's muffled and monotone-like voice, "You have very bad manners!"

            Then Hilde's muffled voice was heard with a few giggles, "Aww! You look so cute, Duo!"

***

            [1]: I give credit of this to my friend Holly (who I consider my onnee-chan) and her mom, they say this A LOT when those annoying recorded messages call.

            Replies:

            Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn: Lol you're so funny, Holly-onnee-chan! I love the review! And thanks for agreeing to be my beta!

            darkarc: ooo thankies *munches the pocky* Poor Duo…I bet you're really wondering what in the world I did to the poor guy…or they did to him. *gives you new-new light bulb* There you go ^^

            Emily Hato: Hehehe, I was wondering if I had lost you. Glad I make you laugh with this thing! YAY! Someone reads my ANs!!

            Neo Conker: Why, thank you. I might have that happen…I just noticed that Une and Treize haven't appeared in this yet.

            Black Ninja Star: Thankies. Oooo yay! I've now got help to kidnap Heero to investigate Spandex Space…that sounds so wrong for some reason. *Shrugs and gets Cattle Prod of Doom to help with kidnapping Heero* Lol thanks for killing my homework! I hope this chapter meets your insanity standers!

            rika_1: Oooo yay! Now my homework'll be triple dead!

            One-Winged Angel: I've got more alter-egos than I can count…and half of them are from anime…so I know how that feels….and yes…it cannot be helped! Grrrr…stupid alter-egos!!

            AN:

            Heh…I noticed that I forgot to explain my [1] thing in the last chapter….well…the reason why I had that thing there was to say that it was just the first thing that popped into my head. Holly-onnee-chan has agreed to become my beta so hopefully I won't make that mistake again!

            I bet you guys want to kill me for that little cliffie, don't you? Well…you can't! If you do then there'd be no more updates! I mean…tra-la-la…

            Wow! Over 50 reviews! I feel sssoooo loved! Keep 'em coming, they really help keep my butt in gear!

            Don't forget that you can IM/E-mail me if you want to…I promise that I won't bite…hard.

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne!!

****


	11. Act Eleven

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing…yet! All I own is the plot--doubtfully--some random books, pocket-lint, a collection of Manga, Labyrinth DVD, Endless Waltz DVD…ummm…and other random stuff like that…so if you sue you'd just get my junk…why bother?

Warnings: The same warnings from the last chapter…though there may be some swearing…woohoo *glomps Duo and Heero and Quatre*

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Eleven

By: NightChild

***

            Duo was sulking on the couch. _'How could've they touched my **hair**?'_ he thought dismally. He glanced at himself in the mirror that hung on the wall and grimaced. His once-brown hair was now bright blue and it was hanging limply in a loose ponytail at the base of his neck. Hilde's voice snapped him out of his sulking.

            "Awww…Duo, stop sulking…the dye washes out after three weeks. Stop being such a baby." She said as she plunked down in a chair across the room from him.

            "But…Hilde babe, my _hair_!" he whined as he held up the now-bright blue mass of hair.

            Standing, Hilde shook her head at him. "Don't whine. It washes out…it's only about three weeks." She said as she walked off to the kitchen to get a snack.

            Heero stalked into the room. "It's your fault for spilling the milk all over my computer." He said emotionlessly as he plunked down in the chair that Hilde had previously occupied.

            "I didn't mean to!" Duo wailed childishly.

            "That doesn't matter." Answered Relena's dry voice from the doorway.

            "You guys are so mean!" Duo shouted as he stood up to go sulk elsewhere…the room was getting far too busy to do proper sulking, his hair limply tagging along.

            Relena watched Duo slink out of the room then turned to Heero. "I've discovered where the telemarketers' HQ is." She announced as if she were commenting on the weather.

            "Hn?" Heero grunted uninterestedly. He really was interested, just not showing it.

            "I'll fill you all in tonight at dinner." She said as she turned on her heel and marched out of the room--which she was barely in, in the first place.

            That night at dinner everyone was arranged around the large table in the dinning room. Suddenly Relena stood up, startling everyone. "I've discovered where the telemarketers are operating." She announced as she watched everyone's faces to see their reaction. Heero didn't react at all because he already knew this little piece of information. Duo looked slightly more cheerful for a moment before going back to sulking, as he had been all day. Quatre looked surprised yet pleased. Wufei just glared at Relena. Trowa didn't respond on the outside but was impressed. Zechs beamed like a mother hen. Sally smiled at Relena; prod of her. Catherine gave her the thumbs up, as did Hilde. Noin grinned.

            "And just where is it?" Wufei asked with feigned disinterest.

            "A small Colony in the L4 Cluster." Answered Relena. "We infiltrate their HQ in two days…prepare however you need to." She said in a tone that left no room for argument as she left the room.

***

            AN:

            I know…I know…a short chapter…but you get two updates in two days and I didn't leave it with a evil cliffie this time…be very happy. This is in celebration of Ryudo Ray adding me to their Favorite Authors list and in celebration of Beltane. 

            Replies:

            darkarc: Hehehe thankies *munches more pocky* Oooo…you've got an idea fer a story? I must check it out when it gets posted. Did I update soon enough for you? ^.^

            Ryudo Ray: Thankies…I hope this chapter meets with your standards.

            ybewd: Hehehe…I didn't cut his hair…and it'll be back to normal…eventually…lol I updated soon…really soon…twice in two days…wow o.o that has to be like a record for me or something.

            Another AN:

            Thankies for all the WONDERFUL reviews…they really help me write! Until next time…

            Ja`ne!

****


	12. Act Twelve

Disclaimer: Since Duo and Heero have informed me that if I don't do this every chapter that the *eep* lawyers'll come and get me I shall keep doing this _every_ chapter. I do not own Gundam Wing or anything else that looks familiar to anyone…and if that includes the plot…then…well…TOO BAD FOR YOU!! It's **_MINE_** ALL MINE!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Authoress instantly disappears after a straightjacket appears on her*

Warnings: *still in straightjacket* Same warnings from the last few chapters…woot! O.o;; Yes Rylla…I'm still on with the whole "woot" thing….

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Twelve

By: NightChild

***

            Suddenly the phone rang just as everyone was finishing up dinner. Surprisingly enough there wasn't a race to get to the phone…only because….

            "Hello…?" came Trowa's voice from the living room. He had finished his dinner shortly after Relena had left the room and had gone to lounge in the living room.

            "Hello and good day!" piped up the telemarketer's voice.

            "Is it really a good day or are you just saying that?" Trowa asked seriously.

            There was a pause as if the telemarketer was blinking. "Um…I _believe_ that it's a good day…"

            "So…you don't _know_ that it's a good day, then?"

            Another pause. "Eh…yes?" the telemarketer sounded extremely confused.

            "What's so confusing about this? Are you a spy from…the government?!" Trowa accused, a smirk playing on his face.

            A longer pause… "Um…no…I'm not a spy…I was calling to see if you wanted to buy a--"

            "YOU'RE A SPY!! YOU'RE A SPY!! AND YOU'RE GONNA COME AND STEAL ALL OF MY CHOCOLATE FROM MEEEE!!!!!!" Trowa yelled then slammed the phone down to hang it up. He started to walk away then the phone rang…again.

            "I'll get it!" Relena yelled. Trowa just blinked and watched as she came flying into the room. It was best just to let her have her way…she had had another cup of coffee…which would make about seven for the day. 

            Relena picked up the phone. *"'Allo?"

            "Did you just say 'hello'?"

            "No…I said ''allo' but that's close enough." [1]*

            "Right…I'm from Style Monitor Co. [2] and was wondering if you--"

            "I don't know what you're talking about! I don't have it! No…don't shoot Rover! I'll tell you anything! Just don't shoot Rover!" Relena yelled, faking tears into her voice.

            There was a pause and Relena could almost hear the telemarketer blinking. "I'm not about to harm Rover…whoever this Rover is!"

            "You're just saying that! I'm telling my daddy on you! He's gonna kick your ass!" Relena grinned slightly as she baited the telemarketer.

            "My daddy's more important than your daddy!"

            "Is not!"

            "Is so!"

            "Is not!"

            "Is so!"

            "…Is not! Times infinity!"

            The telemarketer let out a "grrr"-ing growl. "Meany!" and click…the phone line went dead. Relena smiled hugely and flopped onto the couch to wait for more telemarketer-attack-calls…that she was sure would come.

***

            *[1]*: Everything after the first * and until the second * is quoted from Jim Henson's _Labyrinth_…yes…I've been watching it too much…again.

            [2]: Just some random company name that I thought up…it's amazing what my brain comes up with, isn't it?

            Replies:

            Deora: Awww…you only _think_ you like it? I hope you decide that you _really_ like it. Thanks for the review.

            Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn: Lol your reviews crack me up SOOO bad, onnee-chan! *Duo and Heero blink and whisper, "they're sisters?"* Yes…Duo and Heero…I consider her my sister…so don't mess with her! ^.^;;

            Neo Conker: I'm sorry that you didn't like the last chapter…but I'm glad that you like the rest of the story. I hope you liked this chapter.

            Black Ninja Star: I know…poor Duo-kun…but his hair'll be okay in a while. Hehehe…I don't know what came over me with that whole Zeches beaming like a mother hen thing…oh well. Glad you like my story and yesssss…you're learning XD Relena was in this chapter.

            Ryudo Ray: Yay! I have inspired someone…kinda…^^ glad you like my strange, silly story!

            nnimekid: Yes telemarketers are annoying, aren't they? Hehehe…I've got plans planed and crazy ideas…be afraid…_very_ afraid!

            Mike Jade: Lol here's more…lol the telemarketers will get their's in the story…so don't worry XD

            AN:

            Wow! Over 60 reviews! I feel so loved! YAY!

            This chapter is for my other onnee-chan for her fourteenth birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KELL!!

            Sadly I'm beginning to see the end for this fic…though there still are _quite a few_ chapters left…I still am starting to see the end and am starting to plan it out…I _may_ write a sequel if I get enough people to tell me to once I get closer to the end of the fic. I can hardly believe that I can see the end slowly creeping up on me…this is my first major (as in more than one chapter) fic and it just blows my mind. Well…anyway…enough of my rambling. Keep the reviews coming!

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne!

            E-mail: KatLiz1234@aol.com

            AOL IM: KatLiz1234 or GlamRockerGirl01

_Chapter uploaded on: 5/5/03_

****


	13. null and voiddon't read

Disclaimer: Since Duo and Heero have informed me that if I don't do this every chapter that the *eep* lawyers'll come and get me I shall keep doing this _every_ chapter. I do not own Gundam Wing or anything else that looks familiar to anyone…and if that includes the plot…then…well…TOO BAD FOR YOU!! It's **_MINE_** ALL MINE!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Authoress instantly disappears after a straightjacket appears on her*

Warnings: *still in straightjacket* Same warnings from the last few chapters…woot! O.o;; Yes Rylla…I'm still on with the whole "woot" thing….

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Twelve

By: NightChild

***

            Suddenly the phone rang just as everyone was finishing up dinner. Surprisingly enough there wasn't a race to get to the phone…only because….

            "Hello…?" came Trowa's voice from the living room. He had finished his dinner shortly after Relena had left the room and had gone to lounge in the living room.

            "Hello and good day!" piped up the telemarketer's voice.

            "Is it really a good day or are you just saying that?" Trowa asked seriously.

            There was a pause as if the telemarketer was blinking. "Um…I _believe_ that it's a good day…"

            "So…you don't _know_ that it's a good day, then?"

            Another pause. "Eh…yes?" the telemarketer sounded extremely confused.

            "What's so confusing about this? Are you a spy from…the government?!" Trowa accused, a smirk playing on his face.

            A longer pause… "Um…no…I'm not a spy…I was calling to see if you wanted to buy a--"

            "YOU'RE A SPY!! YOU'RE A SPY!! AND YOU'RE GONNA COME AND STEAL ALL OF MY CHOCOLATE FROM MEEEE!!!!!!" Trowa yelled then slammed the phone down to hang it up. He started to walk away then the phone rang…again.

            "I'll get it!" Relena yelled. Trowa just blinked and watched as she came flying into the room. It was best just to let her have her way…she had had another cup of coffee…which would make about seven for the day. 

            Relena picked up the phone. *"'Allo?"

            "Did you just say 'hello'?"

            "No…I said ''allo' but that's close enough." [1]*

            "Right…I'm from Style Monitor Co. [2] and was wondering if you--"

            "I don't know what you're talking about! I don't have it! No…don't shoot Rover! I'll tell you anything! Just don't shoot Rover!" Relena yelled, faking tears into her voice.

            There was a pause and Relena could almost hear the telemarketer blinking. "I'm not about to harm Rover…whoever this Rover is!"

            "You're just saying that! I'm telling my daddy on you! He's gonna kick your ass!" Relena grinned slightly as she baited the telemarketer.

            "My daddy's more important than your daddy!"

            "Is not!"

            "Is so!"

            "Is not!"

            "Is so!"

            "…Is not! Times infinity!"

            The telemarketer let out a "grrr"-ing growl. "Meany!" and click…the phone line went dead. Relena smiled hugely and flopped onto the couch to wait for more telemarketer-attack-calls…that she was sure would come.

***

            *[1]*: Everything after the first * and until the 2nd * is quoted from Jim Henson's _Labyrinth_…yes…I've been watching it too much…again.

            [2]: Just some random company name that I thought up…it's amazing what my brain comes up with, isn't it?

            Replies:

            Deora: Awww…you only _think_ you like it? I hope you decide that you _really_ like it. Thanks for the review.

            Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn: Lol your reviews crack me up SOOO bad, onnee-chan! *Duo and Heero blink and whisper, "they're sisters?"* Yes…Duo and Heero…I consider her my sister…so don't mess with her! ^.^;;

            Neo Conker: I'm sorry that you didn't like the last chapter…but I'm glad that you like the rest of the story. I hope you liked this chapter.

            Black Ninja Star: I know…poor Duo-kun…but his hair'll be okay in a while. Hehehe…I don't know what came over me with that whole Zeches beaming like a mother hen thing…oh well. Glad you like my story and yesssss…you're learning XD Relena was in this chapter.

            Ryudo Ray: Yay! I have inspired someone…kinda…^^ glad you like my strange, silly story!

            nnimekid: Yes telemarketers are annoying, aren't they? Hehehe…I've got plans planed and crazy ideas…be afraid…_very_ afraid!

            Mike Jade: Lol here's more…lol the telemarketers will get their's in the story…so don't worry XD

            AN:

            Wow! Over 60 reviews! I feel so loved! YAY!

            Sadly I'm beginning to see the end for this fic…though there still are _quite a few_ chapters left…I still am starting to see the end and am starting to plan it out…I _may_ write a sequel if I get enough people to tell me to once I get closer to the end of the fic. I can hardly believe that I can see the end slowly creeping up on me…this is my first major (as in more than one chapter) fic and it just blows my mind. Well…anyway…enough of my rambling. Keep the reviews coming!

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne!

            E-mail: KatLiz1234@aol.com

            AOL IM: KatLiz1234 or GlamRockerGirl01

****


	14. Act Thirteen

Disclaimer: Waaaaaaahhhhh!!! I _still_ don't own Gundam Wing…wwwwaaaahhh!! But I do own a small island off of the coast of Japan…*shifty eyes* ehhh…you…didn't…hear that.

Warnings: The same as usual.

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Thirteen

By: NightChild

***

            Just as everyone was about to head to bed for a much-needed night of sleep the phone decided to ring again…loudly…. The thunder of feet could probably be heard miles away as they all raced each other to the phone…

            "Hello?" Sally answered professional-like.

            "Hello…is Mr. Winne--"

            "Mr. Winne? Nope…no one here by that name…nope, nope, nope. But we've got a Mr. Winne_r_ if that's who you're looking for." She interrupted the telemarketer, talking rather quickly.

            "Um…yes…I'd like to speak to Mr. Winne_r_…this is about his pho--"

            Sally cut him off again. "Pho? He doesn't have a 'pho'…whatever a 'pho' is."

            She could almost hear the telemarketer's eye twitch. "Not 'pho'…pho_ne_."

            "Why didn't you say so in the first place? Are you high? Drunk?"

            "Eh…no…" the slight beep-sound of the blink-blink could be vaguely heard.

            "Well you should be!" with that she hung the phone up with a beep. As soon as she hung the phone up it rang again…

***

            Replies:

            darkarc (ch. 11): hehehe thankies…glad you like it ^.^ I read your story ("Touched By An Angel")…it's VERY good! Ooo pocky.

            darkarc (ch. 12): Hehehe apparently I'm gonna end up writing a sequel for this…ooooooo chocolate! *glomp*

            Black Ninja Star: Hehhehe that insane, eh? Yeah…I know…it almost frightens me o.o;; Glad you liked the Trowa thing ^.^;; Oooo strawberry pocky! Thankies!!

            ybewd: Probably gonna write a sequel for this so dun worry…and plus, there's still quite a bit left.

            Ryudo Ray: Hehhe glad you liked it. I read your story and reviewed it (if you didn't notice) ^.^;;

            Blu: Heheh thanks.

            HeeroDuo4eva: Soon enough for you? Hehehe.

            One-Winged Angel: Oops…did I confuse you o.o;;? Hehehe voices in the head? I know all about voices in the head *sweatdrop*

            AN:

            Sorry this chapter is **_so short_**…but I'm fighting the-mother-of-all headaches and a bad case of Writer's Block…I'll try to write more (and longer) soon.

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne!

            _Chapter uploaded on: 05/12/03_

****

            


	15. Act Fourteen

Disclaimer: *coughs…sneezes…mutters about cold* I don't own _anything _here…except possibly the plot.

            Warnings: Same warnings from the last few chapters…oh…and watch out for the possible addition of some glittery-ness….

When Telemarketers Attack

Or 

Mindless Dribble

Act Fourteen

By: NightChild

***

            As the phone rang for the second time there was a mad scuttle for the phone…although Sally could've reached it if she tried…but she didn't try…

            "Hello?" Came the voices of Duo and Hilde as they picked up different phones at the same time.

            The telemarketer seemed stunned…"Um…hello…I'm from Am--"

            "Hilde is that you?" Duo asked through the phone.

            "Of course it's me!" Hilde almost-yelled.

            The telemarketer blinked…or seemed to. "I was wondering if you'd like to--"

            "What are you doing on the phone? I wanted to torture the telemarketer this time!" Hilde wailed, cutting off the telemarketer.

            "Will you _both_ shut up! I'm trying to listen to my music!" came Relena's yell from the kitchen, her music got louder, Hilde and Duo could clearly make out that she was listening to "The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders from Mars" [1].

            "Who said you could listen to my CD?!" Duo yelled into the kitchen from the living room.

            "No one!" came Relena's voice, again, from the kitchen, she cranked the music up louder.

            "Um…if you don't mind--" the telemarketer was cut off by more arguing over the CD.

            Heero stalked into the room. "What's going on? I'm trying to work…shut up." He said as he pinned Relena with his turn-that-music-down-before-I-do glare that he had perfected on Duo. Then he stalked out of the room again, to go back to his rapid typing on his laptop, which he had made Duo clean…in record time, too.

            Relena "humph"-ed and turned down her music…a little.

            "We can't talk right now." Duo and Hilde said at the same time then hung up their phones at the same time before the telemarketer could respond.

            Later that night when everyone should be sleeping…

            Everyone wasn't sleeping…but playing "Twister" on to mats while waiting for the phone to ring.

            "Left foot blue!" Hilde chirped from her spot on the couch, it was her turn to spin and call out what the others had to do.

            Everyone--Heero, Duo, Relena, Quatre, Dorothy, Catherine, Trowa, Noin, Zechs, Wufei, and Sally--tried to move their respective feet to the blue dot on their respective mats. Hilde nearly burst out laughing at what a tangled mass they were. She spun again…but was interrupted by the phone ringing…again….

***

            Replies:

            Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn (onnee-chan): Lol you really crack me up with your reviews! LOL! *Dies laughing* *Duo and Heero revive authoress*

            One-Winged Angel: *kills your evil homework* I know the last chapter was really short ;-;…but look…this one's pretty…kinda…long. And believe me…the end _is_ coming…it's just taking a while to show any real signs.

            Black Ninja Star: Hehehe glad you liked that XD I continued XD

            darkarc: Lol you're funny! ^^ Oooo pocky! *Munches it* *Tells Heero and Duo to save Pataco…they do so* XD

            ybewd: Hehhe yep. Oh…how do you say your name? I can't figure it out ^.^;;;

            [1]: Great album…I have it--thanks to Rylla-chan!--and I highly recommend it…to anyone who's a Bowie fan…XD

AN:

            Wow…sorry this took so long…ten whole days x.x but don't kill me! It was all my muse's fault! They decided that I _had_ to write a yaoi-death-fic and stuff. I'll try to write more soon but I'm trying to catch a nasty cold so it might be a while.

            Challenge:

            As promised in my Bio I will now shamelessly promote the fics that have answered my Challenge so far!

            ~*~Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn's fic: "Challenge Fic: Forever, Foralways" () I highly recommend it! HIGHLY!~*~

            If you are interested in my Challenge look at my Bio.

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne!

****


	16. Act Fifteen

            Disclaimer: *authoress randomly appears* I don't own anything…at all…okay…so I do own a few things…but nothing related to the rights of Gundam Wing or anything else that anyone who is not me owns…happy? Good *poofs*

            Warnings: *remembers that she still has to do the Warnings and reappears* Really must I do the warnings? *Heero and Duo nod* Oh all right…watch out for possible cussing, glitter-y-ness, OOC (duh), non-yaoi relationships (mild…sorta…mostly…maybe?), and craziness…oh…yeah…and anything else I can come up with.

When Telemarketers Attack

            Or

            Mindless Dribble

            Act Fifteen

            By: NightChild

            ***

            As the phone rang again…. Duo yelped as his blue-now-fading-back-to-brown hair was stepped on then tried to get to the phone. Relena cussed like a drunken sailor and pushed Duo aside. Noin and Zechs just tried to stay out of the way. Sally scrambled to her feet and pushed passed Relena. Wufei refused to get involved with something of that nature and just casually walked to the phone while the others fought amongst themselves to get to the phone…

            "Hello…?" came Wufei's voice, causing everyone to stop their mad dash to the phone from their now-very-wrinkled Twister mats.

            "Hello! Good morning! I'm from M--"

            The telemarketer's overly cheerful voice was cut off by Wufei… "It's not morning…though I do suppose it's morning somewhere. But it's not morning _here_. It's injustice! [1]" Wufei ranted for a few more moments, face growing slightly red.

            Duo decided that enough was enough and interrupted Wufei's rant… "Dude…Wuffers…calm down…you're forehead-vein's scaring me." he said as he eyed the now-bulging vein in the middle of Wufei's forehead.

            Wufei stopped in mid-rant and slammed the phone down, hanging it up by doing so, and turned to Duo slowly, his eye twitching and the vein in the middle of his forehead bulging more. "What…did…you…just…call…me?" an eye twitch and a vein bulge between each word.

            Now, Duo's not stupid, he knew he was playing with fire…but he pressed on anyway. "Wuffers…or was it Wuffle?" he shrugged as if it weren't important.

            Wufei's coloring now matched that of a tomato. "MY NAME IS WUFEI!! NOT WUFFERS, WUFFLE, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOUR DEMENTED BRAIN CAN COME UP WITH!" He yelled as loud as he could, going redder, if possible.

            Stealthily, Duo inched toward the kitchen. He had gone too far with that…but boy, was it funny! He snickered to himself.

 Wufei saw Duo's movements and followed suit. 

The others watched. 

Duo made it to the kitchen. 

Wufei broke into a run to catch up with him. 

Duo flung the refrigerator door open and pulled out the first thing that he found…one of Quatre's prized lemon cream pies. He quickly held it in his hand and brought his arm back, aimed at Wufei and threw….

            "MAXWELL!!" Yelled Wufei as he wiped lemon cream pie from his face. Two can play at this game. He changed into the kitchen and shoved Duo away from the refrigerator. He rummaged through the contents of the fridge quickly and pulled out some leftover mashed potatoes. He opened the container, grabbed a handful and threw it at Duo….

            Duo managed to dodge the flying spuds….

Unfortunately for Heero, he was heading to the kitchen to tell them to knock it off and was behind Duo…the flying-spuds-from-hell hit him in the face with a _flop_. His eyebrow twitched and he charged into the kitchen, shoving Wufei and his container of spuds-from-hell away from the fridge. He grabbed the first thing that he could find…leftover Sloppy Joe filling. He opened its' container, grabbed a handful, aimed for Wufei's head….

            By this time Duo was laughing his ass off. Wufei managed to barely dodge the mass-of-red-sauce-and-meat….

            Trowa, upon hearing the ruckus coming from the kitchen, came to investigate. He was standing right behind Wufei when he dodged the mass-of-flying-red-sauce-and-meat…it hit him square on his gravity-what-gravity bangs with a _plop_. He made no reaction on the outside…but his eyebrow nearly twitched. He pushed Heero out of the fridge and grabbed what he could as quickly as he could…leftover creamed spinach [2]. He opened the plastic container and took a large handful out of it, eyed Heero, and flung it at him….

            Poor Quatre just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when Heero dodged the flying-gooy-mass. It hit his blond head with a loud _splat_. He had never liked the thought of getting dirty…but…sometimes people have to do things that they don't like. He stormed passed Trowa and grabbed his other prized lemon cream pie and flung it at Heero.

            The girls and Zechs didn't want to have anything to do with the food-war and settled for watching. Food was sent flying around the kitchen until dawn, all the sloppy things to throw had been thrown and now were decorating the kitchen walls.

***

            [1]: I don't really like this stereotype thing…but I found it funny there…so bite me XD

            [2]: I actually _like_ creamed spinach…scary, isn't it?

            Replies:

            Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn: Lol! Your reviews _ALWAYS_ crack me up! I'm glad that your team won Color War…o.O;; I think I remember you telling me that your team won…^.^;;

            darkarc: lol I played Twitster at my younger sister's birthday party, I kinda sucked at it x.X;; I bet you wanted to die of embarrassment from that one, eh?

            ybewd: That makes a whole lot more sense! Thanks! Lol for the longest time I was trying to figure your name out. ^.^ I hope you like this chapter.

            One-Winged Angel: YAY!!! SCHOOL'S OUT! *dances around like a madwoman* *Duo and Heero sweatdrop* Hehehe, yeah, no kidding, I'd probably like die or something if I got Duo _and_ Hilde on the phone at the same time hehehe.

            mrs J Winner: Why, thank  you ^^ I hope this keeps you entertained ^^

            Challenge Responses:

            ~*~**xelmus's **fic:"A Farewell and a sad goodbye"…very good fic, you should read it!~*~

            ~*~**Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn's** fic: "Challenge Fic: Forever, Foralways"…very good fic, too, you should read it as well!~*~

            AN:

            Woo…that was quite that long chapter…for me anyway…excuse any mistakes that are in there, as it is very late.

            I hope that this chapter made everyone laugh ^.^

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne!

****


	17. Act Sixteen

            Disclaimer: I own _nothing_ related to Gundam Wing…or anything else you might find familiar…unless…of course…it's the plot…WHICH IS MINE!! MUHAHAHAA! *Authoress blinks at self* Anyway…my plan for *shifty eyes* taking over the world with *shifty eyes* a ten-foot length of rope and *shifty eyes* duct tape *shifty eyes* is going quite nicely…*shifty eyes* *Heero and Duo sigh*

Heero: think we should tell her that her "plan" would never work?

Duo: naw…let her live in her fantasy world for a bit longer

Both: *nod*

            Warnings: The same warnings from last chapter apply…muhahahahaa…

            When Telemarketers Attack

            Or

            Mindless Dribble

            Act Sixteen

            By: NightChild

            ***

            It had been one day since "the great food war"…meaning…that there was only one day left until Operation Annoyance's final stage was set into motion…. Poor Quatre was _still_ trying to clean up all the sloppy-gooey-now-starting-to-ferment foods off of the walls and the counters and the table and the floor and the ceiling….

            Relena marched very un-Relena-like into the kitchen, holding an empty coffee mug. "Must. have. more. coffee." She said zombie-like, her eye twitching between each word.

            Quatre sighed. "You drank the last of the coffee this morning…" he added under his breath, "which was a new five-pound container until you got to it."

            Relena's eye twitched rapidly and she turned on her heel, muttering something that sounded like, "Must…buy…more…coffee…" but Quatre wasn't sure if she had really said that or not. He sighed again and went back to cleaning up the now-fermenting-kitchen.

            Later that day…everyone was found lounging about in the living room in peace. Their peaceful relaxation was shattered when….

            Duo suddenly burst into the living room…wearing dark-purple, sparkly spandex, a _very_ sparkly black top hat, glittery make-up, and a rainbow-colored feather boa. [1]

            Everyone blinked, beside Hilde…who had seen this side of him before. She giggled and said, "Glitter!Duo!"

            Everyone just stared blankly from Hilde to Duo and back again.

            Wufei was the first to recover… "Maxwell, what the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" he asked, his forehead vein starting to budge again. One might wonder what the state of his blood pressure was.

            Duo just grinned at Wufei. "I'm mincing around." He stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

            Wufei's forehead vein bulged again.

            Relena's eye twitched.

            Trowa gave no outside reaction…but slowly inched away.

            Heero just blinked, his hand slowly inching toward Spandex Space.

            Catherine looked like she was about to burst out laughing.

            Zech and Noin were nowhere to be seen…but one didn't have to guess where they were when _sounds_ came from the shadows.

            Dorothy blinked, her scary-long-gray-forked eyebrows twitching.

            Quatre stared.

            Duo blinked. "What? Do I have a bug on my face or something?" he blinked again.

            Sometime later…. Everyone had convinced Duo to un-glitter-fie himself and everyone was lounging peacefully in the living room again when….

            The phone rang….

            ***

            [1]: Meh…if this doesn't say that I'm a Glam Rock fan, nothing will XD

            Replies:

            (If any of you reviewed on the 4th then ff.net deleted it and I won't be able to reply because my computer has already deleted the notification e-mail. Gomen nasi)

            darkarc: But…it's funny now, isn't it? *Heero, Duo and authoress sweatdrop at Pataco* he always like that? O.o;; I WANNA HAVE A FOOD FIGHT! *Authoress jumps up and down* Hehehe yep…I'm so mean to them XD

            ybewd: Lol what I cam up with was odd…you don't want to know lol Thankies…but ;-; I've never had a food fight…one day…I will, though MUHAHA

            Black Ninja Star: Yep…poor li'l Quatre…oooo pocky! Yay! *Munches happilly*

            Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn: LMAO! Holly-onnee-chan! You crack me up soooo bad! *Dies laughing* *Heero and Duo sigh…and bring authoress back to life* ^.^;;

            Emily Grant: LOL! You're so funny! Yes…must…write down thing from rink…*twitch* XD People'll be so scared…or really like…our next combined effort on a humor fic…and Nikki-chan's help'll make it even more funny. Hmm…Word doesn't like my "'ll" things that I put on the ends of words…too bad for it *bites it* XD

            One-Winged Angel: Meh…I re-read it and I have to agree…it does seem kinda…chopped…or something…but oh well…it was like four in the morning when I wrote it. Lol I'd be afraid to throw one of his pies…he might cry. EVIL SCHOOL!! EVIL! *Kills it with Heero's "borrowed" gun* There ^^

            Deora: Thankies ^^ You gave me that extra inspiration to get my butt in gear and get this chapter written…this one's for you ^^

            Challenge Responses:

            ~*~**Demonic Little Sister's** fic: "What Did We Do?"…very good fic, kinda long…but very good. You should read it!~*~

            ~*~**xelmus's** fic: "A Farewell and a sad goodbye"…very good fic, you should read it, too!~*~

            ~*~**Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn's** fic: "Challenge Fic: Forever, Foralways"…very good fic, too, you should read it as well!~*~

            AN:

            I'm thinking that there's only gonna be about 2-4 more chapters of this fic…depending on how it all goes. But I _will_ be writing some sort of sequel for you all since it has been requested several times. I feel so loved ^^ Anyway…I'm not sure what that's really gonna be about or anything…I'll probably end up taking a small break from posting anything on ff.net after I finish WTAOMD to figure out what it's gonna be about and the plot and everything.

            Wow…is this really Act Sixteen? I can't believe it…and I've got nearly 90 reviews…I feel so totally loved *glomps for all the reviewers and pocky too* ^^

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne!

****


	18. Act Seventeen

Disclaimer: Does it _look_ like I own anything here? It doesn't? That's good…maybe there's hope for you yet.

            Warnings: The same warnings from the last few chapters apply.

            When Telemarketers Attack

            Or

            Mindless Dribble

            Act Seventeen

            By: NightChild

            ***

            As the phone rang again everyone sighed. Heero looked at the others, "Should we just let the machine get it?" he asked everyone, eyeing Relena, who had passed out from too much caffeine.

            Duo blinked, "No, let's have some fun." He said as the phone rang again. Jumping to his feet, he dashed to the phone, motioning for Hilde to do the same.

            Hilde sighed and got to her feet, making a mad dash for the other cordless phone that they had brought into the room earlier.

            "Hello?" Duo and Hilde answered the phone at the same time.

            "Hello…sir…ma'am?" the telemarketer sounded quite confused…but quickly pulled himself together. "I'm with--"

            He was interrupted by a high-pitched scream from Hilde.

            The telemarketer seemed to blink. "Um…are you alright, ma'am?" the telemarketer would've probably had a look of pure horror or worry on his face, if Hilde and Duo could see him.

            Hilde responded with another scream.

            Duo gave Hilde a look that said, "What's up with that?" and blinked at her.

            Hilde just stuck her tongue out at Duo and proceeded to scream, again.

            The telemarketer seemed to blink…then there was a click as the phone line went dead. Hilde smiled a victory smile. Duo sweatdropped. Heero ignored them all together and tended to the still-passed-out-Relena. Quatre sweatdropped a sweatdrop big enough to swallow the Earth or a Colony. Trowa just blinked and inched away from the obviously-insane-Hilde. Wufei sighed, rolled his eyes, and went back to sharpening his sword. Dorothy, having nothing better to do, launched herself at Quatre in a super-tackle-hug…causing Quatre to "meep" and fall over. Catherine just ignored them all and went to make some of her infamous-soup-that-no-one-is-ever-actually-seen-eating. Zechs and Noin were…ah…_busy_ elsewhere. Sally hovered over Wufei. The doorbell suddenly ringing interrupted their various reactions.

            There was a rapid scampering for the door but….

            In the end, Wufei won the mad-scamper-dash-to-the-door by glaring a glare to nearly match one of Heero's Death Glares™. He sighed and opened the door….

            He froze in his spot and contorted his face in disgust at the woman standing in the doorway with energetic honey eyes and puke-brown (and seemingly fake) hair tied back in a ponytail. The obviously teenaged woman had square glasses, which made her eyes look like dots. She waved hard and nearly fell over in the process, which would actually be quite easy given she had a black skirt on which didn't stop going at her feet, which were clad in black stockings and even uglier strapped shoes. She was wearing a light pink long-sleeved sweater and carrying a black book in her arms. "HI!!!" she giggled, "How are you???? I'm Tehila Landesman!!" she smiled and shifted her weight from one foot to the other insanely fast. [1]

            Wufei snorted at her and wished he had brought his sword with him to the door…this…woman…if she could really be called that…looked like killing her would be a great justice. "What do you want?" he asked shortly and gruffly.

            "Do you want to buy this book??" she thrust the book out towards him and grinned. "No wait! I'll give it to you for free! You look like a very honorable man, and I'm sure--" the chatter of the mindless git was cut off when WuFei death-glared her. "Sir, why are you looking at me like that? Have I done anything wrong? That's very not nice," she said. The "poor" incessantly talking idiot... [2]

            Wufei's forehead-vein started to budge again. "_Onna _[3]…I do not want your _damned_ book…what the hell's your problem, anyway?" his vein budged with each word.

            Landesman looked like she was about to cry. "Why are you so mean to me?" she sniffed pathetically.

            Wufei grumbled, "'Cause you look like a pathetic git?" he asked in a mocking tone, and then shut the door in the pathetic woman's face.

            Duo bounded over to Wufei, the others hanging back behind him. "Who was that?" he asked as he fiddled with his mostly-brown-but-still-blue-ish hair.

            Wufei eyed Duo. "Some stupid onna." He said as he walked past Duo and the others so he could get back to his sword sharpening.

            As WuFei sharpened his sword, he heard the blubbering of the stupid idiot outside as she sobbed relentlessly. "Please, someone make her stop! It's hurting my ears!" Quatre exclaimed, covering his ears. [4]

            Just then, Relena came out of her state of caffeine-induced-unconsciousness and heard the blubbering idiot outside. Her eye twitched…repeatedly. She got to her feet and stomped off to take care of the "menace"…her eye twitching the whole way.

            The sounds of Relena threatening the Landesman person with death if she didn't shut up rang into the house for hours before the blubbering _finally_ stopped and they were left in relative peace again….

            ***

            [1]: Holly-chan wrote this paragraph. She really hates Ms. Landesman, her ex-teacher, and we both thought it would be amusing for Landy to show up at the GW Gang's door.

            [2]: Holly-chan wrote this paragraph too.

            [3]: I do believe that "onna" means "woman".

            [4]: Holly-chan wrote this, as well.

            Replies:

            darkarc: I pity you…*whispers something to Heero and Duo. They sigh and go off* they're on their new mission: track Pataco down and bring him back to you ^^ Glad you liked the last chapter…I hope this one lives up to your expectations.

            One-Winged Angel: No kidding…but…with my sick sense of humor, I found the fermenting food funny *sweatdrops* No kidding…I'm amazed at how long my story is and at how many reviews it has. Hehehe glad that someone liked my Glitter!Duo ^^ Notice that she passed out from it in this chapter hehe. Hope you liked this chapter.

            Fuzzyone: Thankies…evil, bad computer though *gives you a mallet to whack it with* ^^

            Holly (Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn): LMAO! You're so silly, man! Oh, and this chapter's for you ^^

            yami blue eyes white dragon: 'Allo ^^ I dunno what I'm doing for the sequel…yet…but I'm working on it. I hope you like this chapter ^^ and I see that you joined ff.net…coolies ^^

            Challenge Responses (I'm gonna keep posting them until a week or so after the deadline):

            ~*~**Demonic Little Sister's** fic: "What Did We Do?"…very good fic, kinda long and doesn't fit the requirements exactly…but very good. You should read it!~*~

            ~*~**xelmus's** fic: "A Farewell and a sad goodbye"…very good fic, you should read it, too!~*~

            ~*~**Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn's** fic: "Challenge Fic: Forever, Foralways"…very good fic, too, you should read it as well!~*~

            AN:

            Wow…the seventeenth chapter…I'm all stunned and stuff. Anyway…this chapter's for Holly-chan because she helped me write it. I'm still not sure what I'm gonna do for the sequel, but I _am_ gonna write a sequel-like thing for this…just because so many people told me to ^^

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne!

            ****


	19. Act Eighteen

            Disclaimer: I _still_ don't own Gundam Wing…or anything…really…okay…a few things, but we won't get into that at this moment.

            Warnings: OOC-ness, non-yaoi, some possible cussing, glitter, strange-ness, and might not be as funny as usual.

            When Telemarketers Attack

            Or

            Mindless Dribble

            Act Eighteen

            By: NightChild

            ***

            The day that the final phase of Operation Annoyance was to commence dawned with the gang camped out in the living room--as usual. Relena had gotten her hands on a roll of duct tape in the middle of the night and had duct taped everyone to the objects that they were sleeping on.

            Zechs awoke first, only to find himself duct taped to the floor. He twitched. "Relena!"

            Relena slanted over to Zechs and batted her eyes at him. "Yes, dear bother?" there was something in her tone that was _way_ too sweet, and would probably make anyone go running for the hills…if they weren't duct taped to something, that is.

            Zechs twitched again, waking up Noin, who was also duct taped to the floor. She yawned hugely and blinked owlishly up at Relena… Then she noticed that she was duct taped to the floor. She twitched…several times. "Why am I taped to the floor?"

            Relena just smiled at them…then slanted off to go wake the others.

            Heero, by this time was already awake though and was working on gnawing his way through the duct tape.

            Quatre was still asleep, the teacup from the previous night duct taped to his hand, while he was duct taped to the squashy couch.

            Dorothy was duct taped to the end table that was by Quatre's couch, and she was mostly asleep.

            Trowa had ended up getting duct taped to the wall in a sitting-up position. He was awake, but trying to look like he was asleep in hopes that still-caffeined-Relena would just leave him alone.

            Catherine was still in an extremely deep sleep and was duct taped to a chair by the table in the kitchen.

            Duo was so asleep that he was snoring slightly. He was duct taped to the floor, where he had sprawled himself the previous night.

            Hilde was still asleep; duct taped to the floor and sprawled next to the slightly-snoring-sprawled-Duo.

            Wufei was duct taped to the big recliner that he had fallen asleep on and had his sword duct taped to him. Wide awake and fuming.

            Sally was duct taped to the entertainment center and was in a light dozing sleep.

            The fake peacefulness of the moment was suddenly shattered when…

            Relena blew a loud, high-pitched whistle and everyone's heads snapped up, even Duo's. She looked at them all and smiled politely (though it looked rather evil with that glint in her eye.) "Today we commence the final phase of O.A.," she said, sounding very much like a commanding officer briefing troops.

            Duo rolled his eyes. "We know _that_ already! Why are we _duct taped_?"

            Relena looked annoyed at Duo. "Because you need to get familiar with it…it has a key roll in my plan." She smiled that polite-yet-evil smile again.

            Heero's eye twitched. "Your plan? Duct tape has something to do with your plan?"

            Relena nodded…and then launched into full "briefing" mode.

            An hour later found Operation Annoyance en route to the telemarketers' head quarters….

            ***

            Replies:

            darkarc: Yes…Heero and Duo finished their mission! Hehe…glad that you got Pataco back. The annoying girl being Ms. Landesman? I really hate her…and I don't even know her…scary, isn't it? Anyway…I hope you still like the story.

            yami blue eyes white dragon: Heh-heh, I see…I've gotten my sister addicted to ff.net XD

            Mainstream Sovereign: Thanks. Hehehe, I'm not gonna strangle you…I actually find it sort of amusing.

            Quatres wifey: Thanks, very much. And no problem.

            One-Winged Angel: Yay. Hehe, really no least favorite teacher? O_O wow…scary. See ya next time!

            Black Ninja Star (review #100): Yes…only Duo (and a few other people that I can think of) can pull off the outfit ^-^; I know…I felt sorry for him…but it just seemed slightly amusing at the time.

            Black Ninja Star (review #101): If you'd heard the horror stories that Holly-chan's told me about that teacher you wouldn't feel sorry for her o.O she's evil. Ooo…pocky! *munches it happily* *Duo tries to steal it* *bats him away with a stick* Thanks!

            Deora: Wow, didn't know it was enough to bring someone to hysterics! Cool! ^-^

            Emilie Grant: *glitter dumped on head…chuckles* I did come skating that night, didn't I? I think I did. Hai…I love the mix…yay ^^ *glomped…glomps back* I've been tired and hyper at the same time a lot…it's amusing…sorta.

            Challenge Responces:

            ~*~**Emilie Grant's** fic: "A Letter From Hell"…very good fic, as well, and short.

~*~**Demonic Little Sister's** fic: "What Did We Do?"…very good fic, kinda long and doesn't fit the requirements exactly…but very good. You should read it!~*~

~*~**xelmus's** fic: "A Farewell and a sad goodbye"…very good fic, you should read it, too!~*~

            ~*~**Berrful Hunter's (used to be Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn)'s** fic: "Challenge Fic: Forever, Foralways"…very good fic, too, you should read it as well!~*~

            AN:

            This chapter is for Black Ninja Star, Deora and Emilie Grant…for being my 100th-103rd reviewers.

            I hope that this chapter was okay. I'm not the happiest with it…but what can you do when your humor-muse has left you because you've been stressed and depressed lately.

            Anyway…

            Until next time…

            Ja`ne

****


	20. Act Nineteen

            Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor will I ever. Don't own Barney, either…and I would not ever want to. Do not try to do anything mentioned in this chapter as it could mean your life…then again I don't think that you're stupid enough to try anything that is mentioned in this chapter…I hope.

            Warnings: The same warnings as last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before that…are you sensing a pattern?

            When Telemarketers Attack

            Or

            Mindless Dribble

            Act Nineteen

            By: NightChild

            This chapter featuring the talents of: Berrful Hunter

            ***

Once they finally got to the telemarketers' head quarters, they stood by the tall, tall building, all of them staring up at it. Relena proceeded to fold several layers of duct tape over, sticky sides out, and then give four apiece to the others. She ended up using a whole roll of the silvery-gooey-stuff. "Stick it to your knees and hands and climb!" she said, doing as she told them to do; saying it as if it were a very normal thing to do.

Duo paused hesitantly at Relena's orders, but upon receiving a rather scary looking glance from the girl, he grinned cheesily and started climbing the wall. Quatre followed not too long after, followed by a reluctant Trowa, a curious Heero and his trademark twitching-eye, and a steaming Wufei looking as if he were going to bring his katana out of nowhere and start slashing about like the madman Duo believed him to be sometimes.

The others had been left behind because they couldn't figure out how to get out of their duct tape. Relena had been of no help in getting them out and had sneered at them as they tried to get out of it. Heero swore that he was _never_ letting her near coffee again. Kill-kill-kill-mode-Relena had numbered days.

"Come ooooonnnnnn!" Kill-kill-kill-mode-Relena called to the five boys, who grunted or glared in various degrees (well, actually, Quatre just sighed and rolled his eyes, whereas WuFei started what was a long chain of Chinese curses, while Trowa was the one who grunted, Heero was the one who glared his other trademark, aka the deathglare, and Duo just... was Duo). "We're never gonna finish at this rate!" Here, Duo stuck his tongue out and muttered random words along the lines of, "Why me?"

Several people by this time were standing on the sidewalk and pointing as the six people tried (Relena actually wasn't trying...she was just...doing, had to have been a side-effect of all the coffee) their best to climb up the side of TTHQ (the telemarketers' head quarters) with duct tape stuck to their hands and knees. "Why didn't we just walk in like normal people? Or steal a chopper and repel down?" Duo half-whimpered as his duct tape tried to unstick itself from the side of the building. Relena ignored him, still climbing like a mad little monkey.

"Because, Maxwell, upsetting Relena when in kill-kill-kill-mode is a deathwish." Wufei whispered to the American pilot, finally breaking the twenty-three-point-seven mile long chain of Chinese curses and explicitives. 

"I never even knew there _were_ that many bad words in one language," Quatre whispered to Trowa, who nodded in agreement. "...And I'm actually kinda glad Relena's in kill-kill-kill-mode, or else Wufei'd probably be regretting his mouth by now." Here, Relena stopped her climbing and turned on the other blonde, "Eh?" Quatre quickly shook his head, "Uh, nothing, nothing at all!"

Heero grunted, focusing on reaching the...the...he stopped climbing. "Just _where_ are we going?" he asked as he tried to keep from sliding down the windowpane he was currently attached to. The rather insane Relena looked over her shoulder and smiled her _way_ too sweet smile again, "To the roof." she stated simply as she climbed higher.

Somehow, they managed to (barely, on account of Duo's unsticky duct tape) make it to the roof in one piece, after many grumblings, glares, Chinese curses, and threats. Relena looked at her "troops", beaming. "That was wonderful! Now for the hard part!" There was an instant groan from Duo, who shut up as Relena fixed her "I'm gonna go kill-kill-kill-mode on you at any second" glare on him. He chuckled and sweatdropped.

"So." Trowa said, "What is this plan, how many years in jail will we get as a result of carrying it out, how much will it take to bail us out, what are our chances of escaping alive, will our gundams be needed, and has anyone but me noticed the crowds of people staring at us down there?" He pointed at the throngs of people staring at them as if they were asylum escapees. 

"Trowa..." Duo said, slinging his arm around Trowa's shoulders, "I love ya, but don't ever talk that much again. It is just scary."

Wufei muttered more Chinese curses under his breath. He did not like being stared at as if he were some sort of loony! "Darlian/Peacecraft," he growled out, obviously trying to keep from going temporally insane and attacking her with his sword. "Just how did you come up with this hair-brained 'plan' of yours?" his vein in his head pulsed, showing just how annoyed he was.

Relena thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Call it women's intuition?" Insert a shaking screen and thumping sounds as all five pilots chibi-fell to the floor.

Once they recovered from their chibi-falls, Relena smiled at them, the smile that said she was about to tell them something important about OA. They all waited...and waited...and waited some more, until poor Duo just couldn't take it any more and glomped Relena. They landed in a tangle of limbs and Duo's-now-back-to-normal-braid. "SAY IT ALREADY!" he twitched rapidly while shaking her shoulders.

Wufei rolled his eyes and pulled the ravaging American off Relena, which earned him not only one but five very..._interested_...glances. "Well, what? I'm tired, I'm annoyed, my bed is still not made and I didn't get to practice with my katana yet!" The curious stares continued until Wufei released Duo's shirt collar and plopped down on the floor, crossing his arms and legs. "I'm not moving until _you_!" he said, pointing at Relena, "Give me a very detailed and analyzed explanation for disrupting my katana time."

Wufei finally gave up on getting anything but a rambling-not-making-much-sense explanation from Relena and got up. Heero's eye was doing its trademark twitch again. Duo was fiddling with the end of his braid, glad that the blue dye had finally faded away. Quatre was trying desperately to get Relena to tell them what to do next. Trowa was just standing watching.

"Let's get goin' already!" Duo yelled, dropping the end of his braid in favor of jumping from one foot to the other in inpatients.

"Patience, Duo, patience!" Relena exclaimed while she put her index finger to her chin in thought. "Aha!" With a devilish sparkle in her ocean blue eyes, Relena started climbing _down_ the other side of the wall, giggling insanely as she found an open window. "Everyone! In here! I have found an open window!"

"Hallelujah thank you Kami, we're finally getting somewhere with this..." Duo muttered while he skillfully hopped down into the open window, followed by an annoyed Wufei, Trowa, Quatre, and Heero, complete with built-in twitching eye.

            As they were climbing through the window, they heard Relena start to cackle in a very un-Relena-like way. Quatre leaned over to Trowa and whispered, "I really think she's lost it...seriously..." he stared wide-eyed at her as she suddenly started to raid a broom closet. Trowa nodded as he watched the-now-raiding-a-broom-closet-kill-kill-kill-Relena.

Duo sighed and shook his head at Relena, wondering what on earth it was the girl was up to now. He turned to Heero and said, "Heero, why are we even agreeing to this again?" The Japanese pilot rolled his eyes. "If I didn't think declining would result in death, I wouldn't be here, Duo." A look very similar to the word, '...oh,' appeared on Duo's face. The braided baka then proceeded to watch as Relena dug manically through the broom closet.

After a few minutes of digging, Relena emerged from the broom closet, holding about ten rolls of duct tape, three brooms, and wearing six buckets stacked on her head. "Now we build armor!" The others stared at her like the people were staring at them from the sidewalks as they were climbing up the building, all thinking, 'She's had _waaaay_ too much coffee.'

"Relena..." Duo said, pointing at the various 'equipment' Relena had gathered, "What the bloody hell _is _all that stuff and what is going on in that mind of yours?!" Relena giggled insanely, which caused all five gundam pilots to back away slowly with smiles on their faces, each one nodding.

Wufei muttered something about 'stupid onna' as he watched Relena grab Heero, who's eye twitched rapidly, and proceeded to plunk a bucket "helmet" on his head, break one of the booms in half, then duct tape the end with the bristles to his back. "Relena..." there was a note of warning in that tone, "What the _hell_ are you doing?" The said insane girl smiled, "Making your armor!"

"You're not making my 'armor', Relena..." Heero grunted, "YOU'RE TURNING ME INTO A FREAKING SCARE CROW!" Insert shaking of screen and thumping sounds once again as Relena, Duo, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei chibi-fell, half from the cheesiness of the situation (not to mention how scare crow-like Heero actually _did_ look), and half from 01's spontaneous outburst.

After they had all collected themselves from their various chibi-falls, Relena smiled the _waaaay_ too sweet smile again, "But you look just so cute, Heeroy-beeroy!" Duo instantly saw an opportunity to tease and proceeded to do just that, "Oooo, Heeroy-beeroy...you look just so cute as a scare crowy-browy!" Heero then broke away from Relena and chased Duo around the room while threatening death in various ways.

            Once Heero had tired himself out chasing Duo, ripped off Relena's "armor", Duo was staring owlishly at everyone from the sheer strangeness of it all. They all headed down the hall as stealthily as they could with Relena wearing the "armor" that she had tried to make Heero wear. Wufei was following them at a distance, eyeing Relena as if she were truly nuttier than a fruitcake. Trowa and Quatre were following Heero and Duo, who had taken the lead. Relena followed Trowa and Quatre, sulking. They were finally headed toward the telemarketers' leader's office and then this whole big mess would be over...or they hoped it would be over, once they decaffeinated Relena.

            Somehow, they managed to make it to the telemarketers' leader's office without any more incidents worth mention. They stared at the door, all of them ready to dash behind the small forest of potted trees that stood near by. Duo looked at Relena, "Now what?" She shrugged, "Dunno…" she smiled that smile that made all sane people want to run for their lives. Duo slowly backed away in response. The others just shrugged at her, nearly used to it.

            Heero looked at Relena, who was still grinning like the Cheshire Cat, and sighed. "Right, we're breaking the door down and--" he was cut off by Relena.

            "Duct taping whoever is inside to a chair and forcing them to watch 'Barney'!" the others stared in horror at her. There was nothing worse than being forced to watch "Barney"…even being tortured by OZ was better than _that_. "Anou…Relena are you sure? I mean; was what they did really bad enough to warrant this?" Quatre asked nervously. Relena didn't answer, just got out her duct tape and proceeded to charge at the solid office door.

Heero sighed and shot the door open just before she would have ran into it, or he would have if his gun hadn't shot a spray of multi-colored glitter at the door instead of the bullet that was _supposed _to come flying out of the barrel. His eye twitched. "Duo…what did you do to my gun?!" he growled out. Duo laughed nervously, a sweatdrop appearing on the side of his head. "Um…" before he could finish what he was about to say, Relena kicked the door down and charged into the room, Trowa and Quatre following her, just in case she needed their help. "We'll finish this later." Growled Heero as he followed the others. Duo shrugged and followed Heero.

            What they met on the other side of the door they do not expect to see. They all slammed on the breaks and blinked dumbly at who sat behind the desk, before Wufei burst out, "I KILLED YOU!" everyone continued to stare. There, behind the desk, sat Treize, who was currently smugly smirking at them. "Mr. Chang, is that really the way to treat someone you've known for so long?" he tisked at them. Insert massive shaking of screen and thumping sounds as everyone beside Treize facevauted.

            Once they recovered from their shock, they decided that they didn't care _how_ Treize came back to life or if he was even ever really dead in the first place. Wufei glared at Treize, Heero did his customary grunt/death glare, Quatre stared innocently at them, hoping that a fight wouldn't break out, Trowa just silently observed, while Relena flounced up to Treize and attempted to duct tape him to his chair. Treize dodged her attempts but ended up duct taped to his desk…he sighed.

            Several moments passed in silence before… "GAH! TALK ALREADY!" Duo yelled, hopping from foot to foot. Silence bugged him sometimes. Everyone stared. "Right…" said Heero; he turned to Relena, who was in the process of dragging a huge TV into the room…he didn't even _want_ to know where or how she got it, decided that it was probably safer not to ask her and stay away from her until she was finished.

            After Relena finished setting up the TV, she popped in an old tape of the dreaded "Barney"…the others shielded their eyes from the horror of it. They could handle all the gore you could throw at them, but show them "Barney" and they cowered. Treize, oddly, didn't seem to be bothered about it…he was actually watching it with a look of dry amusement on his face. The others, having recovered from their "Barney"-induced-horror, stared at him as if he had three heads. Treize turned his head and looked at them. "What?" he questioned. The others, beside Relena, shuddered.

            When it was apparent that their plot of "Barney"-brainwashing Treize out of his "evil ways", Heero grabbed Relena by her waist and hauled her off, muttering something about her never having any coffee, _ever again_. Quatre sighed and un-duct taped Treize before dashing out of the room, to make sure that Heero would be alright with Relena. Trowa left soon after, not doing anything. Wufei glowered once more at Treize before leaving the room, all the while glaring at Treize, a feat that was amazing, considering he didn't run into anything because of not looking where he was going. Duo grinned slightly and took the tape from the TV, intent on destroying the evil thing, but Treize yelped, tackled Duo to the floor, grabbed the tape and then made a mad dash for it, in the opposite direction that the ex-pilots and Relena had headed.

            Duo blinked, alone in the room. "I wonder if he's had too much coffee, too." He shrugged and headed out of the room, already figuring that the others were back at their house.

            ***

            Several weeks passed and their phone was very, very quiet, seemingly the telemarketers had dropped off of the face of the earth. But on the morning of what would have been the third week, the phone rang loudly…

            ***

            The End?

            ***

            AN:

            Thank the gods! The story is over! YAY! O_O…this thing has been such a challenge to write; I never thought that humor could be so hard. I know that I promised a sequel, and I still might do that, but I am pretty much burned out on this story idea.

            Please excuse spelling/grammar errors…it hasn't been beta-ed yet…*sheepish look* and I don't think that I'll ever beta it, since I do my own beta-ing…oh well *shrug*

            Since this chapter is already so long, I'm not going to do the usual review responses, but…**_THANK YOU_** to everyone who reviewed and made me feel like I had to finish the story.

            NightChild


End file.
